Almost religiously, the mention of Love, Marriage and it’s arrangement brings forth very diverse yet strongly felt intuitions and opinions. However I feel just because something is strongly felt doesn’t mean it can not be looked from an alternate perspective. So with this viewpoint I would like to examine the issue of Love, Marriage and it’s arrangement in society.
I personally think that we have got the issue backwards and that applies to everyone. People who favor arranged marriage or the other half who favor love marriage tend to get in debate of “Marriage as starting point of love” or “Love as the required condition of Marriage”.
We know from experience that Love as the required condition of marriage is not universally true since we have seen arranged marriages where love has flourished after marriage.
Marriage as starting point of love is also not universally true because we have seen love marriages where love existed before marriage.
We also have seen both scenarios fail miserably where love disappears after marriage in love marriages or in case of arranged marriages it fails to take off.
So at best, it’s a mixed bag. Therefore discussing the advantage of one over other might be a futile effort.
It becomes a futile effort because what we are discussing is a process and not the central issue. That’s why I think we have got the issue backwards. What we are discussing is method and process of formalization of that universal spirit called ‘LOVE’ and not the ‘LOVE’ itself. Marriage whether it is Love Marriage or Arranged Marriage is a method and process for formalizing the LOVE between two individuals of the society, by the society, for the society. The individuals themselves , their families , their friends are all part of this society which requires, prefers and forces that LOVE is not valid unless approved by a stamp of either type of marriage. Even individuals who favor Love marriage unknowingly fall into this trap of society, thinking they have finally defeated the society by performing a Love Marriage , but ultimately society has won because ultimately they opted for that approval stamp. In case of Love Marriage, the approval stamp happened to be of pink color, that’s all the difference there is.
The intention here is not to argue against the institution of marriage but to celebrate LOVE more than marriage. Marriage has and always been a social contract , filled with rituals, dogmas, traditions; which are all good at their own place but the marriage of any sort whether Arranged, Love or any third or fourth kind which might come in future should neither be a necessary condition nor final condition for Love. If Love finds marriage in it’s journey, let’s recognize that and keep on traveling, If it doesn’t keep on traveling as well. It’s the journey that is important not any particular milestone of any particular color.
PS: This post is written to participate in competition of IndiVine Topic “Love Marriage Ya Arranged Marriage”
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